If You Ever Come Across a Monster

If you ever come across a monster
Tell him I say Hi
Tell him that I miss him
Tell him that I’m still waiting for him

If you ever come across a monster
Don’t look at him and think
That he’s ugly
Or that he’s unworthy
Or that he doesn’t deserve to exist

For he’s my friend
In fact
He’s more than my friend
He’s a part of me
That I have lost after so much pain
After so much regret
That I do not who I am
Without him

If you ever come across a monster
Don’t push him away
Chain him
And bring him to me
Because I still remember
What it was like
When he was here

It was a series of fights
Of curses and demonic chants
It was screaming
At the top of my lungs
For air
That I was wasting
It was a battle
Against what
I do not know
But it was tiring
And confusing
It was easy

If you ever come across a monster
Ask him how he is
Ask him about his latest adventures
Or conquests
About his new life
His new journey
Ask him about whether he remembers our journey
Whether he remembers all those
Long and exciting days
Filled with instability and conflict
Where everyday was a new challenge

If you ever come across a monster
Tell him how I’m doing
Tell him that I am lonely
That this is more difficult
Than having him here
Every day I wake up to sounds of aliens in my head
I hear these voices of other monsters
Trying to seep in
Tell him that I am protecting myself from them
That I am guarding myself

If you ever come across a monster
Tell him that I’m sorry
Tell him that I would give anything to have him back
Tell him that even though I am half empty
I am willing to fill myself
With all his abuse
Because then I would bleed
And I need that blood
To fill in these holes

If you ever come across a monster
Beg him to come home
To look past our history
And turn his if to a when
Because when he doesn’t return
I will not remain
For this monster
Is me
Alone.

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